The continuing saga. The struggles with Silas's skin. Bad rashes, eczema, dermatitis, whatever name you want to choose, they could probably all apply. I'm sure it's not the worst case of eczema ever seen, but it can be pretty bad. Some mornings his eyes are so crusted over he can't open them. His sheets have many blood stains from itching during the night. He has big crusty spots on his scalp - kind of like cradle crap. He constantly itching everywhere and I'm constantly trying to get him to stop; usually with little success. I get super stressed out.
Tonight I was lotioning him and he started crying because the lotion stung. I cried a little, too. And then I yelled a little. I shouldn't have; obviously didn't help the situation. I just feel so frustration and exasperated and tired of dealing with problem. Two and a half years. We've been to so many doctors. We've tried every lotion/cream imaginable. Actually, we have seen some improvement. I try to remind myself of this and stay positive, but the severity of the skin rashes still ebb and flow and these last few days have been bad again.
And then I try to get some perspective. It's just skin. As far as physical ailments it's really NOT that big of a deal. So many people deal with much worse and for much longer. I should not be this bothered by it. But instead of having a more positive outlook, I just add guilt to my pile of feelings.
I feel like as a missionary blog, this should have some sort of positive spin at the end. i.e.: And then I turned it over to God, and here's my spiritual insight . . . But at the moment, I'm not there yet. I'm trying to give to God. We pray for healing and patience and answers. And some days, it's a struggle.
